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Mistakenly marketed as a paranormal investigator, Tempest Michaels suddenly has clients offering him money to solve their daft cases. Then bodies start appearing with their throats bitten. Idiots assume there is a vampire and think he is the man to stop it. He tries to resist, but the alluring PC Amanda Harper AKA PC Hotstuff wants his help to stop the killer and the lonely voice from his pants demands he do all he can to win a one-way trip to her knickers. Aided by his dysfunctional friends, encumbered by his mother (Why are there no grandchildren, Tempest?) and surrounded by beautiful women who just want to be friends, he is soon beleaguered by vampire-wannabes that want him dead. Is the vampire real? Does Tempest have any idea what he is doing? Will he ever get laid?